tingel's Outpost

AAAAaaand she arrived! This night at about 4 am.

My niece is fine and so is sis!!!
Last post was a false alarm. We've been waiting these past two weeks. Now the lady decided it was time to come. :-) And then, apparently, it all had to go very fast. Sis just made it to the hospital and spent about 20 minutes in the delivery ward.

The resulting technical data (as my dad called it):
58 cm - 4150 g
10 fingers and 10 toes attached. So everything is good!

:happy dance:

Little sis has gone into labor! My niece will arrive today or tomorrow!
And sis is cool as whatever about it. She's at home waiting for the contractions to get stronger before going to hospital. She even took the time time to proofread a paper I was preparing for a test next week... :amazed:
Hope the little one will come today. As sis said, being born on 31 October is great. For the rest of her life everyone's gonna be in party mood on her birthday and will have the next day off so they really can party! :)
I'm so happy! My sis is happy, her hubby is happy, my mom is happy, everyone is happy and excited. This kid will be greeted by smiles!

Japan day in Düsseldorf:

beautiful autumn day
lots of cos-players (and shouldn't I be worried that I recognize most of the characters?)
Japanese food!!! (takoyaki! unadon!)
kindergardeners performing on stage
ikebana, kimono, go
did I mention cos-players?
and then there were...
...sushi lollies...I just had to try them. Luckily they taste like candy even if they really look like sushi on a stick. Imagine ikura maki flavored lollies... *shudders*

tonight there will be huge fireworks which I can watch from my living room window

I'm fighting not to cry here.
My sister called, basically to ask how the day was and if I liked her birthday present (which I really did). Then she asked me if I would be my niece's godmother. (My niece will be born around the beginning of November). She knows I'm an atheist. I don't make a fuss about it but neither do I hide it. When she asked me to become my nephew's godmother two years ago I declined saying that I was an atheist and that it went against my convictions. And I didn't hold my nephew during baptism or made any vows to educate him in Christianity. My sister seems to have forgotten that and still considers me his godmother, meaning I would step in if anything should ever happen to her and her husband. In my eyes that's something completely different. If something were to happen I don't need a religious ceremony to take care of my family. They - she, her husband and the kid(s) - are my family! And also, that's not what that ceremony is about. The god-parenting part is about promising to raise the child in the ways of Christianity and nothing else.
When my sister asked me again today, I declined again. We exchanged some words. She really considers me my nephew's godmother and can't understand why I'm "suddenly" acting differently. I pointed out that I'm doing exactly the same as before. She feels that in refusing to be a godmother I'm rejecting her and her family. That's when she snapped that fine, she would ask someone else and she wouldn't beg. I said she misunderstood. I love her and the kid(s) and I would still take care of them if something happened. We stopped then, before it devolved into a screaming match and promised to talk again later this week.
I'm really upset about it. Even more than I can really understand. I think it's because my sister is a very important person in my life. Maybe even more important than I realize at times. Now she's upset with me, so I am upset, too. But a big part is probably also this: for her my being a godmother is a proof of my love for her and her children. It's as if the only reason I would refuse to do my part is that I don't love them or want to take responsibility. And in that she marginalizes my own convictions. She ignores the fact that being an atheist is as much part of my identity as being Christian is part of hers. And that hurts. It hurts deeper than I would have expected.
There's a bit more still. I did attend my nephew's baptism. And there was this nice, no-nonsense, down-to-earth minister who explained how wonderful it was to introduce new members to the church (okay) and how important it is to actively lead the children in their faith (also okay from a church point of view). Then she went on to describe how she explained the matter to children during religious education in elementary school: how the beauty of the world is proof for the existence of god and how the kids should beware of wily atheists who maliciously try to destroy their innocence and faith by using logical arguments. She compared the Christian children to little baby bunnies (literally) full of innocent curiosity and the atheists to creepy foxes (complete with the body language and tone of voice when she acted out their part). I felt as dirty as a pedophile during that sermon. And the fact that she's otherwise the kind of person who I can respect made it only worse. She was invited to the luncheon afterwards and I was sorely tempted to point out to her how offensive that sermon was. Take another word instead of "atheist" in there and it's pretty obvious how demagogic that was. Try Jew, for example. And I'm not saying/hinting or anything that she's antisemitic, it's just that everyone is sensitive in this area whereas everyone in my family seemed to think describing atheists in such terms was alright. They didn't seem to realize or care that as an atheist I was included in that imagery.
So, a very emotional matter for me. It makes me feel isolated from my family (from my sister and my mom), like my convictions are less worthy than theirs.

I really needed to write this all down to clear my head. I feel a bit better. But now I have to think about how I can talk this over with my sister because I know she doesn't want to hurt me. Same as I don't want to hurt her. And I don't want to just ignore it and have it stand between us, unspoken and festering.

I just got a weird phone call. Someone whose voice I didn't recognize greeted me with my first name and said she was a good friend from Düsseldorf (where I live) and because of throat medication their voice was off. So I should guess who she was and rattled off some (random) names. I was perplexed because none of my close friends actually live here. There's only an ex-coworker who I keep in contact with and the voice pattern was all wrong. Still, I said her name (if it was her I didn't want to offend her by admitting that I didn't recognize her or saying that I don't have close friends here, i.e. she isn't a close friend). The person said, yes that's who she was and didn't I recognize her now? But the more I heard her talking the more confident I was that it wasn't her. So I just said I didn't recognize her and asked for her last name. And she hung up immediately.

The phone call was weird. But two things creep me out a little. First, the voice somehow reminded me of my grandmother (who died more than 5 years ago). And second, just minutes ago I had googled my name and updated all my privacy settings on my facebook so that I should be accessible to almost noone and changed my profile pic to some random graphics etc.

My uncle died Sunday night and my family is devastated.
My uncle was very active, doing renovations in his house, doing sports. He never suspected that he had a heart disease. 2 months ago, out of the blue, he had a severe cardiac infarct with three incidents of cardiac arrest in the following weeks. At last it looked as if he was doing better. Everyone was optimistic and then suddenly, another crisis and this time the doctors couldn't bring him back.
My uncle was a nice guy, a really nice guy, warm, family-oriented, out-going and funny. He was 62 years old.

Also I'm worried about my sister. She's 5-6 months pregnant and the last ultra-sound wasn't okay. Some problems with the little one's kidney. It could be that the little one was lying in a way that made observing his/her kidney difficult. Hence another ultra-sound today. My sister promised to inform me immediately with the results. Which she didn't do. I can't reach her right now and my dad just told me that she had talked to my mom and that there apparently wasn't any definite result yet. I find that very disturbing. EDIT: okay, little one is just fine!

After a long day of dusting, hoovering, and cleaning the high-point was when I was standing in the hallway and there was a draft and the door to my flat fell shut... with the keys in the lock on the other side of the door, of course. Cursing ensued.
Fortunately, my landlady and her friend were just leaving and I could ask them for help. First the friend tried to open the door with a card. Didn't work. Damn, it always looks so easy on TV!
I'm pretty sure I've deposited an emergency key with my landlady (she lives just downstairs). But she couldn't find the key, so no luck there! Then they gave me their phone and I called my dad. He's a real handiman and I hoped he would be able to open the door. He was sure he would have to break the lock to do that. Double damn. So at last I called a lock and key service and prepared to bleed (financially). Actually their estimate was pretty humane, but still. To pay € 100 for just a moment of inattention... ouch!
With the lock and key service on their way my landlady gave the lock a last try. This time with a steak knife. And wonder of wonders, the door opened!!! She is my new hero!!! I called the lock and key service again and cancelled the job. And they just agreed, no cancelling fee or whatever.
So in the end after a tiring day and a bit of a adrenaline rush I expect to sleep like the dead tonight.

*deep breath* I'm better now. But this day and yesterday were just horrible.

I have a few days off. And yesterday I was sitting and reading when I decided to get a glass of water and then I stood *in* water. The bathroom and hall had flooded. The washing machine was emptying its contents to the floor. And I hadn't noticed until too late. Panic ensued. Then I scrambled to shut off the machine and mop up all the mess. The water stood about 5 cm in the bathroom! It took some time, I was drenched, my nerves shredded. When I was done, my landlady rang at my door because there was water running down her walls (she lives in the flat downstairs). She was pissed off. What had happened? Normally I take showers. This one time I draw a bath I forgot to hook the tube from the washer back into the tub. Clearly my fault. So I called my insurance company. Called my parents. And stared at my PC for the rest of the evening.

Today I noticed that the laminate on my floor was rising at the seams. I called my parents, called my insurance company. Felt like crying. The insurance company said to leave it till Monday so that an expert could evaluate the damage before I could do any repairs. I feared that the water in my floor would sink through and also get into the downstairs flat. My dad spoke with them and they finally agreed that we could tear out the laminate to prevent further damage as long as we took pictures of everything. My dad came over (their car is broken right now, so he had to take the train) and helped me tear out the wet laminate. Half the hall and part of my study.

Then my landlady showed up again and asked how I was and apologized for being cross last night! I can't believe it. That woman is an angel! I was so relieved! I probably would have tried to avoid her for weeks. I even looked up adds for flats last night because I was convinced she'd give me notice. That worry gone and also the assurances from my dad that the new laminate would cost about a € 100 and he would install it himself, that felt like a stone gone from crushing me. Thank you! And my dad was so sweet, really patient! What a difference! Just two years ago I couldn't even be in the same room with him without getting aggressive. When he does repairs he usually gets really short-tempered which riles me up further. Nothing of that! He just showed up. Consoled me and then we got to work without any problems... (Two years of therapy. They really paid off!)

So now I'm not so stressed anymore. Just exhausted and a bit headachy. But hey, I can live with that!

We actually have a White Christmas this year! Last time we did, I was just a small kid. I can hardly remember it. It looks reaally nice. And I could really enjoy it, if we didn't have to drive more than 300 km today to get to my sister. I'll pack some sandwiches and make some coffee to take along, because this could turn out to be one long drive. They actually said on the radio to stay at home if you don't have business outside.... On Christmas? :shakes head:

Anyway
Have a nice and safe Christmas!

I had a private talk with one of my supervisors (I have two).
He told me about my yearly evaluation. He and the other supervisor are just thrilled with me and gave me a very good one. Which bossman (department manager) cancelled because it was too good. Evaluation results are connected to pay rises and apparently he's got a budget. The annoying thing: since this is all his brainchild he will see this through (even if he has to manipulate the evaluations), but every other department manager will get the rises he wants for his team even if they are not completely in sync with the results. After years in this company I know how this works. Well, since I was already expecting something like this, I wasn't really disappointed. It just confirms my opinion of bossman...

Another thing my supervisor warned me about: apparently several others in the team had complained that I was being too loud / noisy whatever. I do tend to speak in a loud voice. It's unconscious. When I notice it, I lower my voice. What really stings, is that noone, not a one of my oh so nice and funny coworkers said anything to my face. That one I'm really disappointed about. Yes, it would have been an uncomfortable talk. But I would have felt immensely better about it than learning about it this way. Still, I'm glad he told me. I can try to change my behaviour and I know not to trust as much as I did before and liked to do.

What R. told me:
A woman wakes up in the middle of the night and notices that her husband is not in the bed. She slips on her bathrobe and leaves the bedroom. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table, deeply lost in thoughts and staring at the wall. She can see a tear slipping out of his eye as he takes a gulp of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear? Why are you sitting here in the kitchen at this time of the night?" she asks him.
"Do you remember, how we had our first date 20 years ago? You were just 16!"
"Of course!"
"Do you remember how your father caught us as we made love on the backseat of my car?"
"Yes, I remember it clearly. I'll never forget that."
"Do you also remember how he held the gun in my face and said: either you marry my daughter or you'll go to prison for 20 years!"
"Oh, yes," she says.
He wipes another tear from his face and says "You know, today I would have been released!"

Oh R., he's a real comedian!

What my coworker, R., told me:
Man goes to see a urologist. Urologist: You really have to stop masturbating. Man: Why? Urologist: Because otherwise I can't examine you.
:head > desk:

Also I've discovered that S., the coworker I share my office with, is after my job! She spent 15 minutes trying to convince me to train to work in a bookstore. Even after I told her that I wouldn't want a job where I had to stand for long hours or do heavy lifting in a storage room and that anyway the stuff I like to read isn't really mainstream so I wouldn't want to have to read books I'm not interested in just to be able to help customers... She just kept on talking right over my head. Only explanation: she wants me gone because she fancies my job! But I'm not so easy to get rid off! Right!!! LOL

And again my paranoid side was tickled: Bossman's PA told us that the both of us, S. and I, had to leave our office at once and go look for a file in the archive. Very suspicious phrasing, that. I immediately imagined R. (coworker see above) welcoming us in the archive room with a cream cake to our faces! Why would it take two to look for one measly file? And why say, leave your office? Well, the archive is tiny but stuffed with unmarked boxes up to the ceiling. It's also (who knows why) right next to marketing > the guys with the cameras > reaallly suspicious. S. and I entered - no R. or any cream cakes in sight - had a fit of giggles, found the file in the very first box we looked into, giggled some more and left after two minutes. Marketing people, warily: what were you doing in there? And as a thank you bossman bought us tons of chocolate. Yummy! THIS ISN'T NORMAL! They probably tried to search our office or R. was to get us with that cream cake when we left the archive but we were too fast and efficient in our file-searching for them! Guys, you need better plots!

One of my coworkers was on sick-leave for three weeks. But now he's back and up to old form. This is what he told me:

A HR manager hires a several new employees, all of them cannibals. He takes their leader to the side and says "Okay, you may work here, but only under one condition: do not eat any of the other employees!" The leader of the cannibals swears on all that is holy that they won't do that.
Several months pass and everyone is fine. No employees get eaten, everyone is happy calmly and efficiently doing their job, until one day the cleaning woman disappears. The HR manager calls the leader of the cannibals to his office and asks him "The cleaning woman has disappeared. Do you know what happened to her? Did anyone of you eat her? You said you wouldn't eat any employees! That was the condition for you to work here!" The leader of the cannibals assures him "I have no idea what happened to her. But we swore to you we wouldn't eat any of the other employees and we didn't eat any. I promise you!" "Fine," said the HR manager "I wonder what has become of her."
Back in his office the leader calls all his cannibals together and starts yelling at them "Who has eaten the cleaning woman?! We said we wouldn't eat any of the other employees! I can't believe this!" All the cannibals stand it a row looking meekly at their feet. "Who did it? Who ate the cleaning woman? If I don't get an answer I'll fire you all!" More silence. Then finally, at the end of the row, the smallest of the cannibals carefully raises his hand. "What is it?" yells the leader. "I ate the cleaning woman," mumbles the smallest cannibal in a timid voice. "You IDIOT!" screams the leader. "All these months we lived off the management board. And now you go and eat her???"

And what does this tell you? Work without managers goes so smoothly that nobody misses them! :evil grin:

watched Tokyo Magnitude 8.0
now I'm depressed and headachy from all the crying...
great anime though

Although there are some things in the office that I don't like (my view of everything is rather more pessimistic after the experiences of the last two days) work can be really fun right now. I have a new office-mate (is that a word?) and she can be really funny! XD And we always find time to chat about TV series, food, co-workers, food, vacations, food etc (there's a theme going on here). Also after just a few weeks together we have different roles established: she's the nice and understanding one and I'm the one with the bit of a mean streak which she makes fun of(!) :grumbles:

Something else entirely: my nephew is starting to walk! A the moment he still clings to things to keep his balance. But he pulls himself up to his feet all by himself and then off he goes. My sis has her hands full keeping track of him. And he's only just 10 months old! :proud: I'll visit at the beginning of November and am already looking forward to it! I've seen the latest pictures and he's soooo cute! ^__^

So, I'm feeling a bit more alive today which is actually good because it was my first day back to work. Since it was my birthday during my vacation (what a coincidence :P) I brought along some cakes for our team and we all gathered for a few minutes, shared the cake and I got a gift - an Amazon voucher. Everyone at work knows I'm reading every free minute I get and everyone's seen my ereader (the Sony) at least once. So they thought the gift voucher would be a good idea. Normally I use the ereader for fanfic, not for official ebooks. But that's okay. It's a great gift!
And since boss-man is physically incapable of not taking center stage he found a new of being "cool"... by bragging about not liking to read.
<sarcasm>Dude, you impress me more every day!</sarcasm>

I finally had my vacation in Turkey. The long anticipated one. (see a few entries back on this journal) It was PERFECT! Beautiful resort, great weather, delicious food, awesome people... and then I caught a severe cold on the flight back and now I feel reif für die Notschlachtung (transl.: ready for emergency slaughter), coughing, sniffling, sneezing, shaking with cold :sobs:

After months of ups and downs (more downs than ups what with work and health issues) things are looking finally good again. I look around myself and my place is tidy, I'm spending time cooking instead of eating fast food and I indulged today in translating again. Rediscovering how much fun that is! It's good to be back! Yes!

Yay! I just booked my vacation for September! The hotel looks absolutely gorgeous and has great reviews. 10 days in Turkey. The weather should be good too. (can only be better than last year). Wow, I can't believe I decided this fast....

Just read chapter 574 on OM. *flails around*
*deep breath* okay, there's one rule in One Piece. And let's hope Oda didn't forget. It's this:



Nobody dies in One Piece by ~BullyKilla on deviantART